Thursday, August 28, 2008
im UPSET, im DEPRESSED.
is this line, ' i wanna learn piano' a big joke of the year?
whats wrong with it!
when i told my dad about it he laugh at me. and even said learning piano is for primary sch kids or secondary sch kids, keep telling me im i toooo OLD to learn already.
and even say i cant even cope with my studies and work and STUFF like that.
HE even mention that i use to say i wanna learn animation and then i also give up.
firstly, i know that learning piano at adult age is not easy as our fingers are not as flexible as before, but it doesnt mean u CANT learn isnt it?
and also, even if i did say i wish to learn piano when i am in pri sch or sec sch, WOULD you let me learn? i DOUBT it.
and also, i dun see why i cant spend one day on piano once a week? if i have time to play games, and surf net, i dun mind using those time and give up for something i LIKE.
tell me, how many times have i go against my wish and doing things i DISLIKE.
wtf is this.
and yes, i did mention i wish to learn animation, and do u know just attending night classes in NAFA isnt easy? its expensive and where do i get the money when u in the first place do not wan to support me because u find it useless and also u think that i am not up to it.
YES, money cant buy everything, but how can i someone with no money learn animation and stuff like that? do u know how much i wish to retake poly again and go for the dip of my interest?
i have COMPLETELY NO INTEREST IN ACCOUNTANCY.
and now i am back to take it again, why? becoz i had no choice, yea i know. plenty of excuses by me but what can i do? mayb these excuses can make me feel better. and let me hide in my shell and every time i look back and i will see what am a failure am i.
always always always DOING THINGS I DUN WISH TO DO!
wth is this. ok.
since young, i was FORCE to go for tuitions, i know, yea yea for my own good, for my studies ETC.
but do u ever ask me if i wanna take up other things? like piano, guitar or whatever? NO. u did not.
do u know when i was p5 den i knew that u can take up CCA way before that when you are p1, and u can also take up cca like violin or band. do u know how pathetic it was? i did not even know that there was a band in my primary school until i heard them play one saturday. i DO NOT even know about the CCAs in primary school. and just becoz of that i miss everything out in my primary school life. AND ALL THAT WAS BECAUSE i was taught of nothing but STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY AND STUDY.
who was the one who PICK my secondary school? it WASNT ME. i did not pick that school. it was pick by my parents.
AND THEN, secondary 3, i wanted to go for literature, i dun wanna take amaths, and den in the end, i ended up with double maths, and why is this SO? its becoz AGAIN AND AGAIN U PICK IT FOR ME.
not knowing anything is a big excuse, i know it, and i always use this accuse to say why i did not pick the dip i like in poly. because i know nothing.
i knew nothing YET i dun wanna go and find it out myself. i am ALONE. no ppl to advice me on what i should do and how i should do.
and now when i told my dad i have not give up on my animation dream all he can do is LAUGH.
crap. fuck it.
and when i wanna go and learn piano now, coz i am working part time and i have a few HUNDERED dollars, i know it isnt much but if i wanna learn why cant i? its my own money isnt it.
i should have KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT AND GO LEARN MYSELF SECRETLY.
damn.
why is this happening? i feel like a complete failure.
every seconds, every minute, every hour that pass make me so miserable.
am i happy of my freaking life?
why am i here in the first place. i cant even do what i wish to do.
FUCK.
2:20 PM
Sunday, August 17, 2008
ahhh forgot to blog again!
15th august, was econs exam day.
DOOMSDAY!
holy crap, i cant believe that i wrote the freaking wrong equation down,
sign, alot marks gone..
really hope i can pass *prays*
am working now, so FREAKING COLD TODAY,
argh!
5:22 PM
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
MATHS IS OVER! hip hip hurray~
but den the most worrryinggg paper is still econs,
i always suck at econs!
must study hard lo!
today maths papers was NOT EASY like the teacher said.
he LIES.
he even said qn 10 is a bomb which to me wasnt,
qn 8 was more like a bomb to me
there were even integration of trigo which he did not teach much,
and somemore at the start of paper, i already had problems solving qn 2!
argh!
hope i pass,
jiayou!
past few days wasnt good either,
there was a shoe theif at my hse! my mom's shoe was stolen and she keep whine and whine abt it, saying she is sad, but that shoe was FOC, it was bought from army using my bro's card..
my big bro's soccer shoe got stolen which worth 100+ and another pair of expensive shoe was also gone,
but he did not whine la which is good, lol
coz he really dun understand why would someone steal a smelly soccer shoe?
yea, my bro had STINKY FEET.
haha.
oh well, friday is econs,
ALL THE BEST!
muacks
2:05 PM
Friday, August 08, 2008
2nd Aug - EY interns meeting~ yay went kbox and pizza hut for dinner after that
this oldie song was sang by princess and step! omigod, lol earlier on princess was singing sha la la la ~
Yea, the 5 of us, too bad chiayun left for class and janice cant join us due to dance! sobs!
but we enjoyed la XD yay
11:56 PM
A very ridiculous day!
today ard 8+pm i had a phone call from unknown, and i dun even noe the person, but apparently, he noes me.
here goes the scene
Mr. Unknown: dawn ar?
Me: ya? [apparently, he is my game fren coz my nick was dawn]
Mr. Unknown: u know where xxx?
Me: HUH? [coz i cant hear what is the xxx]
den it repeat with him asking where xxx and i keep huh den i replied i dunno
den he keep ask and i just said huh i dunno what u talking
lastly he gimme a 'ka ni na bei chao chee bye, nvm la'
i was like wtf? cb sia for no reason tio kan..
den after that another number keep call me for dunno what fuck reason..
i din pick up, sense bo liao matter again..
anyway.
MY MANAGER WAS BESIDE ME LA, BLOODLY HELL.
u kids doesnt need to work DOESNT MEAN THAT APPLIES TO ME TOO.
IM WORKING FOR GOD SAKE.
somemore i already dunno hw many mths nv log in game ler..
aniway, went taka kino today, quite disappointed, even with the 20% sales,
i din purchase much sia! only bought 3 books,
sob sob..
this is bad!
11:46 PM
this oldie song was sang by princess and step! omigod, lol earlier on princess was singing sha la la la ~
